VirMach Valentine's - Buy one get one free for your wife, child, and mistress

VirMachVirMach
edited February 2023 in Offers

Buy any of our regular annual packages and get (3) additional at no extra charge. If you decide to renew next Valentine's day, you can cancel any of the extra services (so if you get a divorce*, you can cancel your wife's plan and keep three out of four for only 75% of the original price.)

NVMe512M
512MB DDR4 RAM
1 Core Ryzen CPU
15GB NVMe SSD
1TB @ 1Gbps
$25 per year ($6.25 per service.)
ORDER NOW

NVMe1G
1GB DDR4 RAM
1 Core Ryzen CPU
30GB NVMe SSD
2TB @ 1Gbps
$50 per year ($12.50 per service.)
ORDER NOW

NVMe2G
2GB DDR4 RAM
2 Core Ryzen CPU
60GB NVMe SSD
3TB @ 1Gbps
$100 per year ($25.00 per service.)
ORDER NOW

NVMe4G
4GB DDR4 RAM
3 Core Ryzen CPU
120GB NVMe SSD
5TB @ 1Gbps
$200 per year ($50 per service.)
ORDER NOW

NVMe8G
8GB DDR4 RAM
4 Core Ryzen CPU
240GB NVMe SSD
8TB @ 1Gbps
$350 per year ($87.50 per service.)
ORDER NOW

Offer expires end of day 02/14/2023.

*Please note that we will not be involved with any divorce proceedings. If your wife claims half of your VirMach account there's a fee for transferring it to another account.

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Comments

  • localhostlocalhost OG

    O dear lord

  • AlwaysSkintAlwaysSkint OG RETIRED
    edited February 2023

    Yup, it's official, Virmach has lost the plot. Straightjacket required with copious amount of meds. and perhaps some electric shock therapy. :o

    In stasis until the shitposting stops/abates.
    Than=compare;then=sequence:brought=bring;bought=buy:staffs=pile of sticks:informations/infos=no plural.
    It wisnae me! A big boy done it and ran away. || NVMe2G for life! until death (the end is nigh).

  • JabJab TOP Member 2027


    ;(

    Haven't bought a single service in VirMach Great Ryzen 2022 - 2023 Flash Sale.

  • dosaidosai OG தோசை

    I'm so confused right now.

  • ehabehab

  • CaxenCaxen

    I must find three wives to share this happiness.

    from google translate

  • AuroraZeroAuroraZero Retired

    Yeah think I shall pass on this one.

    The Yeti has left the building.

  • imokimok OG Not Administrator

    What if someone marries Virmach?

  • AuroraZeroAuroraZero Retired

    @imok said:
    What if someone marries Virmach?

    blasphemy!

    The Yeti has left the building.

  • JabJab TOP Member 2027

    Hey @VirMach
    can I buy

    NVMe512M
    512MB DDR4 RAM
    1 Core Ryzen CPU
    15GB NVMe SSD
    1TB @ 1Gbps
    $25 per year ($6.25 per service.)

    this and merge all 4 into 1?!

    NVMe512M*4
    2048MB DDR4 RAM
    4 Core Ryzen CPU
    60GB NVMe SSD
    4TB @ 1Gbps
    4 IP
    $25 per year

    Haven't bought a single service in VirMach Great Ryzen 2022 - 2023 Flash Sale.

  • ehabehab

  • jamjam

    Delivered on the next year's Valentine's Day... B)

    Backend Ruby Dev and Linux user

  • frakassfrakass

    3g/2core/60g/1ipv4
    can this be $25?
    Thanks

  • lapualapua

    @Jab said:

    ;(

    MINUS!

  • someTomsomeTom

    Can you guarantee that the wife and the mistress will not be hosted on the same node?

  • VirMachVirMach

    @someTom said:
    Can you guarantee that the wife and the mistress will not be hosted on the same node?

    For this make sure to select different locations for each plan. I also recommend keeping your mistress in another region for best ping.

  • cgs3238cgs3238 OG

    Nice offer, I’m looking for wifes now

  • AuroraZeroAuroraZero Retired

    @cgs3238 said:
    Nice offer, I’m looking for wifes now

    How many?

    The Yeti has left the building.

  • cgs3238cgs3238 OG

    @AuroraZero said:

    @cgs3238 said:
    Nice offer, I’m looking for wifes now

    How many?

    Four? So they can pay the whole bill.

  • yoursunnyyoursunny OG

    All I want for Valentine's Day is doing push-ups with @Astro @Erisa @FrankZ.

    Who shall be the wife?
    Who shall be the child?
    Who shall be the mistress?

    We accept Karma donations for the last flan. 🍮 affbrr

  • AuroraZeroAuroraZero Retired

    @cgs3238 said:

    @AuroraZero said:

    @cgs3238 said:
    Nice offer, I’m looking for wifes now

    How many?

    Four? So they can pay the whole bill.

    writes that down

    Preferences?

    The Yeti has left the building.

  • DataRecoveryDataRecovery OG

    @VirMach said:
    Buy any of our regular annual packages and get (3) additional at no extra charge

    I have (5) wives, so I think I'll skip this one.

    @yoursunny said:
    All I want for Valentine's Day is doing push-ups with @Astro @Erisa @FrankZ.

    Considering the date, I highly doubt that @FrankZ is interested in erm... push-ups

    ☰ VDS & Storage — Budget AMD EPYC VDS (ref) from $4/m ／ Big HDD VPS (ref) from $2/TB/mo ／ EPYC/Gold/Platinum dedis (ref) w/ GPU support

  • Flying_ChinamanFlying_Chinaman
    edited February 2023

    Not a fan of 4P relationship, can we get 2 at 50% price?

    Also bundle is incomplete without MIGRATION BUTTON

    Ontario Dildo Inspector

  • FritzFritz Behlnd you

    Oh Jesus!

    Let's gangba order

    https://microlxc.net/

  • vyasvyas OG

    Took me spending years on LE forums to understand
    MTR = MisTRess

    Thank you @VirMach 🙏🙏

    blog archives

  • FrankZFrankZ ModeratorOG

    @yoursunny said:
    All I want for Valentine's Day is doing push-ups with @Astro @Erisa @FrankZ.

    Who shall be the wife?
    Who shall be the child?
    Who shall be the mistress?

    I started doing more pushups last year on Valentine's Day based on your prompting and kept on doing them afterwards everyday.
    I went from 60 a day on Feb 14th 2022, up to 100 a day by years end. Ended up doing more than 20,000 pushups last year. At first the wife was kind of happy about it, but as time went on I realized she was starting to wonder why I was doing all these pushups.
    So I'm out this year. Doing more leg work for 2023, at least until the wife stops smiling when I do squats.

  • AuroraZeroAuroraZero Retired

    @FrankZ said:

    @yoursunny said:
    All I want for Valentine's Day is doing push-ups with @Astro @Erisa @FrankZ.

    Who shall be the wife?
    Who shall be the child?
    Who shall be the mistress?

    I started doing more pushups last year on Valentine's Day based on your prompting and kept on doing them afterwards everyday.
    I went from 60 a day on Feb 14th 2022, up to 100 a day by years end. Ended up doing more than 20,000 pushups last year. At first the wife was kind of happy about it, but as time went on I realized she was starting to wonder why I was doing all these pushups.
    So I'm out this year. Doing more leg work for 2023, at least until the wife stops smiling when I do squats.

    Watch those squats, might shart then the wife will be laughing and not smiling.

    The Yeti has left the building.

  • MainlyMainly

    When can the TY40 node be shut down all the time?

  • terrorgenterrorgen OG

    @AuroraZero said:

    @FrankZ said:

    @yoursunny said:
    All I want for Valentine's Day is doing push-ups with @Astro @Erisa @FrankZ.

    Who shall be the wife?
    Who shall be the child?
    Who shall be the mistress?

    I started doing more pushups last year on Valentine's Day based on your prompting and kept on doing them afterwards everyday.
    I went from 60 a day on Feb 14th 2022, up to 100 a day by years end. Ended up doing more than 20,000 pushups last year. At first the wife was kind of happy about it, but as time went on I realized she was starting to wonder why I was doing all these pushups.
    So I'm out this year. Doing more leg work for 2023, at least until the wife stops smiling when I do squats.

    Watch those squats, might shart then the wife will be laughing and not smiling.

    Squats are what makes your wife happy.
    And you know what they say.

    DM us for private tracker invite.

  • AuroraZeroAuroraZero Retired

    @terrorgen said:

    @AuroraZero said:

    @FrankZ said:

    @yoursunny said:
    All I want for Valentine's Day is doing push-ups with @Astro @Erisa @FrankZ.

    Who shall be the wife?
    Who shall be the child?
    Who shall be the mistress?

    I started doing more pushups last year on Valentine's Day based on your prompting and kept on doing them afterwards everyday.
    I went from 60 a day on Feb 14th 2022, up to 100 a day by years end. Ended up doing more than 20,000 pushups last year. At first the wife was kind of happy about it, but as time went on I realized she was starting to wonder why I was doing all these pushups.
    So I'm out this year. Doing more leg work for 2023, at least until the wife stops smiling when I do squats.

    Watch those squats, might shart then the wife will be laughing and not smiling.

    Squats are what makes your wife happy.
    And you know what they say.

    Yeah and it is a fricken lie.

    The Yeti has left the building.

  • ElonBezosElonBezos

    @Mainly said:
    When can the TY40 node be shut down all the time?

    LOL

  • fanfan

    @Mainly said:
    When can the TY40 node be shut down all the time?

    It's down now, do you expect more? :p

  • AuroraZeroAuroraZero Retired

    @fan said:

    @Mainly said:
    When can the TY40 node be shut down all the time?

    It's down now, do you expect more? :p

    Yes dammit! I shall accept nothing less than 150% downtime and that is my final offer.

    The Yeti has left the building.

  • MainlyMainly

    @fan said:

    @Mainly said:
    When can the TY40 node be shut down all the time?

    It's down now, do you expect more? :p

    Take it off the shelves? Any idea how to set up my server?

  • Flying_ChinamanFlying_Chinaman

    I demand a free wife

    Ontario Dildo Inspector

  • ehabehab

    @Flying_Chinaman said:

    I demand a free wife

    i am tried of you

    if you continue like this you will not get any real wife.

    relax and relax and masturbate if necessary.

  • cybertechcybertech OGBenchmark King YABS 24/7/365

    @Flying_Chinaman said:

    I demand a free wife

    oh i have one actually lol

    I bench YABS 24/7/365 unless it's a leap year.

  • JabJab TOP Member 2027

    @cybertech said: oh i have one actually lol

    You have a wife.
    You don't have a FREE wife.
    wife is never FREE.

    Haven't bought a single service in VirMach Great Ryzen 2022 - 2023 Flash Sale.

  • Flying_ChinamanFlying_Chinaman
    edited February 2023

    @Jab said: wife is never FREE.

    Just like freedom

    @ehab said: if you continue like this you will not get any real wife.

    Yo @ehab chap, I'm fine being alone while wandering in the VirmAch thread

    Ontario Dildo Inspector

  • ehabehab

    @Flying_Chinaman said:
    Yo @ehab chap, I'm fine being alone while wandering in the VirmAch thread

    virvir has his own schedule and preferences. He likes pizza and ladies dressed in red high heels. if you can offer this then you might get lucky.

  • fluttershyfluttershy

    @Flying_Chinaman said:

    I demand a free wife

    hi

  • qebaqeba

    RIP, the last year sales still offline got new sales wow :'(

  • shallowshallow

    @qeba said: still offline

    Managed idling.

  • VirMachVirMach

    @qeba said:
    RIP, the last year sales still offline got new sales wow :'(

    We'll add in a feature where any time any customer's service is offline for any reason all services go out of stock.

  • chrischris

    @VirMach said:

    @qeba said:
    RIP, the last year sales still offline got new sales wow :'(

    We'll add in a feature where any time any customer's service is offline for any reason all services go out of stock.

    I don't think that's necessary, maybe don't sell anything that's down at the time - I think people just think it's crazy to be having sales despite the existing customer base suffering and a great deal of unhappy clients due to downtime which suggests you'd benefit from spending time improving the service than garnering more sales

    I know I've teased a time or two ;) But my teasing is always in the hope you can improve and become a much better service overall! I do love the scale and depth of services offered :)

  • adlyadly

    @chris said:

    @VirMach said:

    @qeba said:
    RIP, the last year sales still offline got new sales wow :'(

    We'll add in a feature where any time any customer's service is offline for any reason all services go out of stock.

    I don't think that's necessary, maybe don't sell anything that's down at the time - I think people just think it's crazy to be having sales despite the existing customer base suffering and a great deal of unhappy clients due to downtime which suggests you'd benefit from spending time improving the service than garnering more sales

    I know I've teased a time or two ;) But my teasing is always in the hope you can improve and become a much better service overall! I do love the scale and depth of services offered :)

    It's not like it would work anyway. ;) I have no idea who writes the code/automation for VirMach, but they're hilariously bad at it given the apparent experience.

  • FritzFritz Behlnd you

    @chris said:
    I know I've teased a time or two ;) But my teasing is always in the hope you can improve and become a much better service overall! I do love the scale and depth of services offered :)

    I know your intentions are good, but beware there is a cult here.

    My servers are having random reboots now, nothing I can do for it except pray.

    https://microlxc.net/

  • AuroraZeroAuroraZero Retired

    @Fritz said:

    @chris said:
    I know I've teased a time or two ;) But my teasing is always in the hope you can improve and become a much better service overall! I do love the scale and depth of services offered :)

    I know your intentions are good, but beware there is a cult here.

    My servers are having random reboots now, nothing I can do for it except pray.

    You telling me I joined a cult and didn't know it?

    The Yeti has left the building.

  • cybertechcybertech OGBenchmark King YABS 24/7/365

    @Fritz said:

    @chris said:
    I know I've teased a time or two ;) But my teasing is always in the hope you can improve and become a much better service overall! I do love the scale and depth of services offered :)

    I know your intentions are good, but beware there is a cult here.

    My servers are having random reboots now, nothing I can do for it except pray.

    wait for a random "cancel and refund" button.

    I bench YABS 24/7/365 unless it's a leap year.

  • FritzFritz Behlnd you

    @AuroraZero said:

    @Fritz said:

    @chris said:
    I know I've teased a time or two ;) But my teasing is always in the hope you can improve and become a much better service overall! I do love the scale and depth of services offered :)

    I know your intentions are good, but beware there is a cult here.

    My servers are having random reboots now, nothing I can do for it except pray.

    You telling me I joined a cult and didn't know it?

    Oh hi, didn't know you were a member.

    https://microlxc.net/

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